Category Archives: F

Film Review No.391: Fantastic Four (2015)

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Four times FOX. Four fecking times have you tried to make a Fantastic Four film and you still can’t get it right. Yes, right of the bat I’m telling you that this latest Fantastic Four interpretation from director Josh Trank is a big old steaming pile of poo. That’s probably being harsh. It does a number of things quite well. But Jesus none of it comes together. I guess I should flesh this all out a bit. I suppose that’s the purpose of a review thing. Warning… this is gonna be one of them reviews where I just run through the events of the film wondering why it’s all so awful.

It’s bollocksing time!

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Film Review No.251: Final Fantasy VII Advent Children

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A couple of weeks back… probably more by the time you stumble across this review whilst looking for something else Final Fantasy VII related… I did a post about video game based film adaptations and how they, quite often, suck a load of donkey balls. One such film that I mentioned not being all that great was Final Fantasy The Spirits Within. That film is often derided for being massively off base of what the Final Fantasy games were. Which was pretty amazing seeing as it was made by Square, the makers of the games. Although looking back they sure did think they were the dogs bollocks around then. So, what happens when they not only make a Final Fantasy film that mirrors the games but is actually a sequel to one of the games? Their most highly praised Final Fantasy at that. Click the link for my review which is sure to piss off a few fanboys.

dilly dally shilly shally? Who has ever said that?


Film Review No.248: Fantastic Mr Fox

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I’ve been waiting a long time to review this film. I first saw it just a few days before starting this here Film Dump titled blog so it just missed out on being my first review. I didn’t own a copy of my own as the blu-ray was silly expensive in the UK and DVD just isn’t good enough to do the visual treat that this film is justice. You need them extra resolutions man. Over a year ago I spent a weekend in Sweden. Whilst their I was doing what you always do when on holiday, browse the local DVD store. In this case it was the Swedish version of what HMV wished it was called Media Markt. Whilst browsing the blu-rays I found a copy of Total Recall with an awesome comic book cover and Den Fantastiska Raven (that’s Fantastic Mr Fox in Swedish or something) for 700SEK each. Considering the average cup of coffee in Sweden costs that much I had to snap it up, especially as it was about 3 times cheaper than it was at home. For reasons unknown to me I’ve let this disc, well the box it’s within, collect dust for 16 months. I’m a bad person. This film is fantastic… as the title suggests. I should have reviewed this ages ago. I apologise. Now click that link below for my long overdue review.

The cuss you will


Film Review No.220: Floating Weeds (Ukigusa)

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You know what I love? Other than inappropriate humour, that is. Discovering a new artist that I enjoy. Last year I watched Mark Cousin’s excellent documentary The Story Of Film. Early on in the film… well about 6 hours in, it is a 15 hour long film… he covers the work of Yasujrio Ozu, a director I was aware of but had never seen any of the works of. A little after that I rented myself a copy of Ozu’s masterpiece Tokyo Story from Lovefilm. Not long after that I had brought a copy after being taken back by it’s beauty (this copy also came with Brothers and Sisters of the Toda Family which I will get too before too long) and about a week ago I purchased another film of his in the form of Floating Weeds. Tokyo Story hooked me into Ozu’s work and directorial style. Floating Weeds has convinced me that he is easily one of the greatest directors that has ever lived. This is true classical style film making. Click the link for me saying pretty much the same thing but with more detail.

I wrote a review, but…


Film Review No.199: 50/50

You know what isn’t hilarious? Cancer, that’s what. Yet for some reason the “Cancer Comedy” has almost become a genre in recent years. I believe it must stem from our desire to find humour in the most dire of situations. Humour can be a defence mechanism for dealing with a painful event. With that in mind there’s only one way a film about someone suffering the effects of cancer can manage to provide a laugh. It has to have characters you care about enough for you to want to find that humour. Does 50/50 manage this? Click the link for my review.

Who’s seen the episode of Archer where he has cancer? Loved that rampage he went on.


Film Review No.184: For Your Eyes Only

Pretty sure I said I was gonna review the odd non-Bond film during this season. I’ve done 1 so far in the form of the excellent Looper. I was going to take a break from Bond after Moonraker but I took a look at how many days I had left to get through these before the release of Skyfall and then at the remaining 11 discs of the Bond Blu-ray boxed set and, well… For Your Eyes Only ladies and gentlemen! Click the link!!!

This review is for everyone’s eyes. Apart from that guys… he knows what he did.


Film Review No.173: From Russia With Love

So this morning I realised that Skyfall is coming out in UK cinemas on October 26th. For some reason I had it in my head that the film was being released in November. I had best get on with these Bond movie reviews then. Up after the jump Bond No2….of 23… what have I gotten myself into?…. Oh, From Russia With Love!

The title’s ironic because Russia ain’t showing Bond no love. At least in the book that is.