Trailer Park Thursdays: John Carter Of The Titans Edition

It’s Trailer Park time!!! I know you’ve all been waiting for this time of the week to come around. You haven’t? Well up yours then! Still gonna post trailers though because, well, what else am I gonna do on a Thursday night? Other than finally hit the level cap on DC Universe. Something a little different this week for the first trailer which will be a fan made trailer for John Carter (Of Mars), followed by Wrath Of The Titans and something retro! Click the jump yo!

So here’s that fan made trailer I was talking about. Don’t worry it’s not one of those crappy ones where someone’s taken footage from other films and tried to make out it really is a trailer for the Thundercats movie. This was made by John Carter fans because, quite frankly, Disney have done a piss poor job of marketing this. Firstly they’re making no effort to point out how this is the story that started this entire genre of Science fiction. People are writing it off as an Avatar clone when Avatar is a clone of this, and Dances With Wolves… and about 60 other films. At least. Secondly this trailer is epic. Also why have Disney dropped the “Of Mars” part of the title. It tells you the film is Sci-Fi right from the off whereas just having John Carter makes it sound like some film about a lawyer, possibly of sports, who at some point has a major uplifting revelation about his life thanks to a boisterous client and a young child played by Jonathan Lipniki. Which would be weird because he’s like 22 now. Where was I? Oh yeah… John Carter Of Muthafuckin’ Mars yo!

Here’s Wrath Of The Titans, the sequel to, as my friend Siobhan put it, “the gayest film I have ever seen”. Her words, not mine. I wonder if Sam Worthington will stick to 2 accents in this film rather than the usual 3-5. If he can get through with just British and Australian it will be the performance of his career.

Here’s the trailer for Stuart Little because… why not? You know the book is even more batshit insane than the film is. See in the book Gina Davis’ character actually gives birth to the mouse. Yeah… Richard Gere did something similar I heard.

What reviews are coming on The Film Dump I hear not a single one of you ask? Well Xbox Live in the UK is giving away a free documentary about American Horror films called Nightmare In Red Whit And Blue. If it ever downloads, seriously it’s been 2 and a half hours and it’s at about 5% and I’m on a 50MB connection here, I’ll be reviewing it at the weekend hopefully. Who knows whats next though. I don’t plan these things out. I do have a couple of films to get to though so who knows? Certainly not me. Laters yo!


About lvl54spacemonkey

Just a dude who likes movies and games and has delusions of working in one of those industries. Write screenplays and work on short films in my spare time. Most of which never get finished. View all posts by lvl54spacemonkey

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