A Message To Spammers…

I have a feeling that I’ll be opening a whole can of… spam-worms here but I have a question for Spammers of WordPress. Why bother? It’s not that I get annoyed by the spam. I honestly don’t. You know why? Because Akismet does a pretty incredible job of stopping it getting through. Everyday I have a handful of messages, usually littered with spelling mistakes, poor English or some of the most blatant sucking up I have ever read. Everyday I spend 10 seconds clicking the “Delete permanently” button. None of the spam gets through. no-one sees your dodgy links to phishing and random advertising sites but me and I get rid of them in 10 seconds. I did allow one through once because it made me laugh. It was worded like praise with a hint of bile. Seriously, just stop.

If I may paraphrase a great dead man…

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or spamming… kill yourself.

No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Harsh? Maybe. But you get the sentiment. What you do is pointless and leads to nowhere. If you’re a person that actually goes around doing this you need to just think about how pointless it is to attempt to spam this site. If you a person that created a program to do such things then… well… why? What benefit is that for anyone? Why not take the skills you have for writing code and do something worthwhile with it? What you do doesn’t annoy or aggravate. It’s just there. It’s takes me a total of 4 clicks and 10 seconds to enter my blog messages page and delete what you’ve posted. no I don’t want to follow your link or email you. I’m pretty sure no-one reading this blog would benefit from your simple method to getting a free iPhone. All you’re doing is eventually providing some lazy ass writer with the material required to compile together a book of the funniest and most desperate spam messages he, or she, has received. Speaking of which have you read this book? It’s quite an entertaining read and is thankfully not written by a lazy parasite.

Anyway, why bother? At all.

By the way. I was thinking about making some sort of book based on the funniest spam I’ve received…


About lvl54spacemonkey

Just a dude who likes movies and games and has delusions of working in one of those industries. Write screenplays and work on short films in my spare time. Most of which never get finished. View all posts by lvl54spacemonkey

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