So I’m going to hell for using that photo. But it’s not without reason. See I thought I’d theme this weeks Trailer Park around films where you just have to wonder what the hell they were thinking when the studios green lighted them. Hence the photo… What were they thinking when they decided that would be a good advert for Creamsicle lollies. What the hell is a Creamsicle? First up a horrible looking piece of crap called Jack & Jill starring Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler as identical twin brother and sister! Ho Ho Ho!!! Following that is a trailer for Abduction a film starring, get this… Taylor Lautner. Someone actually thinks he’s leading man material and not a generic Disney kid who’s only on cinema screens because he was dumb enough to say “yes” to Twilight. After that… Who knows? I’ll decide when I get there like I always do.
So here’s Jack & Jill. I sort of featured this trailer a while back but only one person viewed that. It was the George C Scott watches a trailer post. Go find it. I’m too lazy to post the link. Anyway, the awful that is this film can be summed up by one plot element. Al Pacino want’s to shag Adam Sandler in drag. Oh dear. The thing that’s scary is this is exactly the sort of retarded ass shite that idiots go to see in their droves and end up giving us either a load of sequels or more equally as awful films.
Next up is Abduction. Now when I saw the trailer the premise seemed pretty cool. Until about 40 seconds in when it turned into a generic action film. See the idea of a story about a teenager who finds out his parents may not actually be his parents and that he’s been missing for years is actually a really good one. So why has it been turned into a dumb action film with a token love interest starring a walking charisma vacuum? Could have been a real good drama/thriller. But no. We get Taylor Lautner trying to be a Calvin Kline model/action hero. And dear god Sigourney Weaver and Alfred Molina have been dragged into it.
And lastly… ugh… Fat Albert.
So guess what. I still haven’t got around to watching Urotsukidoji parts 1 and 2 yet. So they’re still there waiting to be reviewed. I have Machete coming up soon though and after that. I have no idea. Let’s wing it for a few days. But of course, come mid September, the Star Wars movies are released on Blu Ray. Just what will I have to say about the prequels that Plinkett hasn’t already. Maybe I could do a review that only talks about the positive aspects of the films. Will allow me to free up a lot of time in the evenings if I do.