Love that image from Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. That’s the image of a Chimp that’s all “Dumbass Humans is gonna pay for messing with me”. Anyway, it’s trailers time! This week I have selected a trailers for (of course) Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, schlocky black comedy The Woman, alien invasion movie based on a board game not about alien invasion Battleship! and of course, something retro.
So first up is the trailer for the lengthily titled Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. Originally this was gonna be called Rise Of The Apes which I would imagine would be a lot friendlier to my mental state come the time to write a review. I’m not one for abbreviating titles see. That’s the mark of a lazy typist. Usually my argument is that it doesn’t take that much longer to spell the words out and you avoid anyone asking just what if TEWWUAHBCDAM. I’ll award a digital pack on the back for anyone who can tell me what film that is. Anyway, this trailer looks pretty awesome and hopefully the film can salvage a slightly weak summer movie season.
Nest up is The Woman. A film about a family that discover a wild woman living in the woods and decide to trap her and lock her in their garage. Hilarious. It’s about as black as comedy can get and I get the feeling this could grab itself quite a cult audience. It seems to be a throwback to the 80s video nasties era. I approve.
So there’s a film coming out next year based on the Battleships boardgame. Yeah… So that’s happening. Looks about as dumb as a film based on a boardgame should be. Where did they get the alien invasion idea from? I quite like the overhead camera shot, obviously a nod to the game. Maybe it’ll turn out to be big dumb fun. Like that blonde lasses chest.
And lastly it’s Captain America! No not the film released this week starring Chris Evans. It’s the 1990 film starring Matt Salinger. Who? How the feck should I know. He’s just this guy you know. Seen this film a few times and it is pretty bad. It’s Steel bad. It’s hard to believe it came out a year after Tim Burton’s Batman shook up the comic book movie genre. But then again this is likely part of the reason it didn’t stay shook up for long.
So what’s to come over the next week on The Film Dump? How the feck should I know? … Oh yeah I am the one that knows. Well tomorrow night we have Captain America: the First Avenger, looking forward to seeing that. The recent adaptation of True Grit by the Coen Brothers and I’ll be hitting my 50th review, which for now I’ll keep a secret. It’ll be a real special film though. Like Simple Jack special.